Grandma

My paternal grandmother passed away last night. . .

She had been in and out of the hospital for a very long time. She was very sick, and in a lot of pain. She was only living because the ventilator and the feeding tube were keeping her alive. She made what had to be the hardest decision of her life yesterday. She decided she wanted to rest.

She was coherent enough, with the machines helping her, to be able to talk to each of us and hug us, from her hospital bed, before she left this earth. She knew who had been there and was keeping track to make sure she'd said goodbye to us all. . . She waited for my dad to get home from his business trip last night before they turned everything off. They let everyone who wanted to be there when she passed go in. There were at least 50 people. . . I wasn't one of them. I didn't want that to be my last memory of her.

That said, my siblings all went in, and they said it was peaceful and calm. She didn't struggle. She just went to sleep. I wish we could all be that lucky when the time comes.

I couldn't believe the crowds of people there to tell her they loved her and send her on her way. We took up several lobbies and waiting rooms in the hospital.

I found myself wishing that I had known her better as we sat there last night. When it came time to say goodbye, I could only tell her that I loved her, and that I thought she was brave. . . I didn't know what else to say.

I do think she made a very brave decision, and I hope she is resting peacefully with my grandpa now. . . or playing a mean game of pinochle on the other side. . . Either way, I know she's happier, and I'm so grateful she's not hurting any more.