Thursday, November 09, 2006


Have you ever stopped to look at yourself and realized you had a legitimate flaw? I'm not talking about a big zit in the middle of your forehead or the weird thing your hair is doing today. I'm talking about something big. Something that you didn't recognize was in you until it was so firmly engrained that it was too late. . .

I'm sure we all have at least one, and we mostly live in denial of it, only briefly recognizing the problem in it's most extreme state and then forgetting it's there. Today, I think I've truly put my finger on mine, & I'm pretty sure it's too late, and I'm not sure there's anything to be done about it.

I have expensive tastes.

I'm only 29. There's no reason I should need the best and the prettiest and the coolest of everything. I can't afford those things. Ben & I have a good jobs, but "rich" is certainly not an appropriate word for us. We can't afford the huge, beautifully decorated house and fancy clothes. But I WANT them. I probably just spend too much time on the internet and looking at magazines. I want a house that looks like a page from a Pottery Barn catalog or Real Simple magazine. And it's hard not to get depressed when I have to give myself the pep talk that inevitably starts with "you can't afford it". I hate that pep talk.

I'll probably never stop wanting all of that stuff, so I should just find peace with the problem. Unless someone has a huge check to offer me. . .

anyone? anyone?

I didn't think so

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